The Art of Letting Go: Work Edition

I used to be a control freak about my career. Like, really intense about it. Whoops.

As someone who is frequently labelled Type A, one of my biggest strengths has always been my internal locus of control—that sense of ownership and accountability that drives me to take charge of situations and push for the outcomes I want. It's served me well in a lot of ways. It's why I dig deep into user research, why I fight for design decisions I believe in, and why I don't just accept "that's how we've always done it" as an answer.

That strength was also burning me out.

I tried to control everything. Not just my deliverables or my design process, but company decisions I had no input on. Market conditions. How my stakeholders felt on any given Tuesday. Whether leadership would prioritize the features I thought were most important. I was carrying the weight of outcomes that were completely outside my influence, and it was exhausting.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately, especially as I watch other talented designers fall into the same trap. There's this fine line we need to walk between leveraging our natural drive to own outcomes and recognizing when that drive is working against us. The goal isn't to stop caring or to become passive, but to channel that Type A energy more strategically.

The Things That Keep Us Up at Night (That We Really Can't Control)

Let's start with the uncomfortable truth. Here's what you absolutely cannot control in your current role:

The macroeconomic climate. Leadership's decisions. Your company's stock price. Staffing decisions. Who ends up on your team. The insecurities and baggage your coworkers bring to work. Which projects land on your plate. The skill level at your company. Market forces. What your competitors do. How your customers behave.

Reading that list probably made your shoulders tense up a bit.

Here's what I've learned: your energy is completely wasted when you linger on these things. It's like trying to change the weather by complaining about it. You might feel productive because you're thinking about it, but you're actually just spinning your wheels.

Where Your Real Power Lives

But good news: there's actually a staggering amount you can control, and most of us are barely scratching the surface:

The attitude you bring to work every single day. How thoroughly you knock your deliverables out of the park. Whether you take time to truly understand your stakeholders, shareholders, coworkers, and managers. How you enhance your skillset. The quality of your work. How well you learn to sell your ideas.

You can control how much you learn about your craft, your industry, and your product. You can streamline your process. You can choose to speak up at your organization and pitch ideas to the right people. You can make yourself into a pleasant, patient, and receptive coworker.

Here's a big one: you can control your anger and frustration by channeling them into constructive actions. You can find ways to remove pain and inefficiencies for your team. You can learn when to concede and align. You can set your own work boundaries and expectations.

You can meet your coworkers where they are. You can put in effort to be friendly and create a cooperative atmosphere. You can really listen to your stakeholders. Like deeply listen.

And honestly? There's so much more. The list of things you can influence is practically endless once you start looking for them.

The Reality Check That Changes Everything

You can never control outcomes. Never.

I learned this the hard way when I spent weeks prepping for what I thought was the perfect stakeholder presentation. I had every slide dialed in, every interaction mapped out, every potential question anticipated.

The morning of the presentation, my key stakeholder's car got rear-ended on the way to work. She showed up agitated, worried about insurance claims, and completely distracted. My beautifully crafted pitch landed with a thud.

Old me would have been frustrated for days, replaying every moment, wondering what I could have done differently. But here's what I've come to understand: that's exactly the wrong question.

Letting Go Without Checking Out

There's a misconception that accepting what you can't control means becoming passive or apathetic. That's not it at all. The goal isn't to stop caring—it's to care more effectively.

Think of it this way: when you're constantly stressed about things outside your control, you're actually less present for the things that matter. You're distracted, frustrated, and operating from a reactive mindset rather than a strategic one.

Learning to let go is about recognizing that while you can't prevent your stakeholder's car accident, you can control how you respond when plans go sideways. It's about staying engaged with what actually moves the needle while releasing your grip on everything else.

When that presentation flopped, I could have sulked. Instead, I followed up with a concise email summary, offered to reschedule when she was less stressed, and used the feedback to improve the next iteration. Those were all things within my control, and focusing on them kept me moving forward rather than stuck in frustration.

The Practice of Productive Focus

I've started treating each workday like a design sprint for my own professional development. What can I learn today? How can I improve this process? What small action can I take to make things better for my team?

The shift is subtle but powerful. When you stop wasting energy on things outside your influence, you suddenly have a lot more bandwidth for the things that actually matter. You become more strategic, more thoughtful, and frankly, more effective at your job. This also bleeds into relationships and family too. When you relieve that urge to control, you naturally become more present and loving.

Your Next Steps

If this resonates with you, try this simple exercise: at the end of each workday, write down one thing that stressed you out. Then ask yourself: "Is this something I can actually control?"

If the answer is no, practice letting it go. Not because you don't care, but because caring about it isn't productive. Let the feelings come and fade. Redirect that energy toward something you can influence.

If the answer is yes, ask yourself: "What's one small action I can take tomorrow to influence this positively?"

Shift your focus from what's happening to you to what you can do about it.

This shift makes you a better teammate, a more effective collaborator, and honestly, a lot more pleasant to be around. You become someone who solves problems rather than just identifies them, someone who finds ways forward rather than getting stuck on what's broken.

And in a field where so much depends on relationships and communication, that might be the most valuable skill of all.